If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever...

I just spent the last month away on my last vacation for a long while and I think it brought me to thinking about a few things:

1. Laughter is to pain as aloe is to a really bad mosquito bite. When you become temporarily carefree and allow yourself to smile and laugh and enjoy what is around, it feels as if all your pain and hurt and worries are gone for that split few moments. If you think about it though, you realize nothing has changed and that damn mosquito bite is still there and it still itches and the aloe you just applied was simply temporary relief. However, instead of concentrating on the bite but keeping your mind on other things and simply enjoying and making the most of everything that you have, your bug bite starts to heal without you even realizing it.. I just have to stay positive and surround myself with the beauties and enjoyments of this world before I go away in a month.

2. There is so much to appreciate in every day life that we normally would fail to see. Ever stop to look at your natural surroundings and acknowledge how beautiful the sky is around you? Consistent waves from the ocean that come crashing in a way that people can create these things we call surfboards to almost become like sea creatures in the water becoming one being with these waves. The sun in the sky that rises on one side and sets on the other and beams down on water creating a beautiful reflection of light. Random deer galloping through the trees. Trees and flowers, so many different types that grow uniquely around the world. Buildings, skyscrapers, homes, cars that the human race has built to form communities, whether cities or suburbs or anything else. Airplanes, capable of flying from any single point on Earth to another, and while in the air being able to see more of the world than you ever could from the ground even if you climbed up a mountain or stood on a cliff. I could go on and on. I suppose you don't always stop and appreciate the little things until either you almost lose it all or you know you won't be able to see these things for a long time anymore- in my case, both. I'm thankful each day now for the bed I sleep on and my comfy pillow and comforter like I've never been before. For the wonderful food I can eat and all the mixed up and stupid television shows I can currently watch whenever I want as well. Music, any type for any mood we're in, at our constant disposal. Exciting adventures or activities we can participate in such as jumping off waterfalls, riding rollercoasters, eating really spicy food or taking risks with love and relationships. We fucking take so much for granted.. Never again..

3. Make the most of everything wherever you are or whatever you are doing. I thought my time away would be the time of my life and I had a picture in my head of all the things I would do and places I would go and everything. Yes, I still enjoyed each day spent in a different way but a lot of unexpected things happened too. But I think I tried to deal the best I could and its just what we do. The reason we are constantly disappointed is because we expect too much. If things don't end up the way you expected, so what? If something takes a turn for the worst, shit happens. It's natural to be upset or sad for as long as you need, but in the meantime I think we should make the most of what is given to us. Doyle Brunson once said that life is like poker. Although you don't always get the best cards dealt to you, you play what you have to the best of your ability. It's easy for the best hands to win all the time, but where is the challenge and heart in that? You'll appreciate the prize much more if you worked for it. Just have patience, perseverance and faith.

4. Individuals are truly special. Everybody you encounter in your life is so different and unique in their own way and I'm so grateful for meeting or knowing everybody who has come into my life- whether good friends or acquaintances or even people you don't really like. People help one another without even realizing it. One important thing during my vacation time away is that my friends and even new people I met helped me smile and laugh periodically, which is just what I need before I go to prison soon.

5. Home is where the heart is. No matter how many issues or hardships you face or how difficult it may be to handle your struggles or deal with reality, there is something about home that you associate with love and security even when its not always shown. Even if there is negativity around you and constant criticism from ones you love most and at times you'd do anything to get away from it, you still cannot help but to love and miss them when you are not around. I only wish that communication, understanding and time spent together could be better but it is what it is.

6. I'm going to take all of this and try really fucking hard to be sad as little as possible this next month as well as the next few years spent away. I want to be done with having others make me laugh and cheer me up and give me strength now. You've all done so much and I want to start bringing positivity and smiles to others again... Soon, hopefully.. Maybe I should go back to my corny jokes of the day? Just kidding.