We'll keep it as our little secret.

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." -Henry Ward Beecher

Let's be honest. There are moments I'm scared fucking shitless. There are also the moments I feel that I can take on the world. What's the purpose of letting the anxiety from fear run your life? It doesn't do any good. I'm a firm believer of stopping yourself after a brief time of being scared, breaking down, etc., and just have a little faith and pick yourself up again. Think about all the struggles and hard times you've faced and managed to get through in the past. Times you thought there was no hope and you thought you had given up completely. Times you couldn't feel anything but pain and hurting. Yet you're still here today, making the most of what you can and enjoying the moments of the present. I'm referring to myself and this is my way of not being so frightened for the near future. Six more days until I'm taken under the hands of the State's judicial system. Who knows what happens from there. How many weeks or months in County before being transferred to prison, what it will be like, how others will treat me. I read countless information and such the other day trying to find out as much as possible. I must convince myself of all the reasons not to be afraid.

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today." -William Allen White

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid!!!!! ...Deep inside, I'm still a fucking big pansy of a fraidy-cat.