DAY 7: There's always hope, I promise you.

Why do the vast majority of inmates consist of repeat offenders? I've officially been here for a week and have come to see an entire population comprised of drug addicts, thieves and perhaps some psychotic child molesters, a few white collar criminals and one time mistakes and accidents like myself, and one actual murderer here. Keep in mind, I'm still in county jail and haven't been transported to state prison yet. I would definitely say at least half of the people here are drug offenders though. I'm not talking marijuana or small time drugs - i'm talking full blown heroin addicts. They come in here and go back out and start using again. Why? From my perspective, being in jail for even one week makes me want to especially make sure I would never have to come back. Honestly, I try to make it as pleasant of an experience as possible, but its still far from enjoyable. In my opinion, the women here, most, are surrounded with individuals they can relate to here and become friends with. They have way too much fun joking around with each other, it's like one big sleepover! I don't think its a bad thing that everyone tries to make the most of what they have. I actually encourage it. However, there has to be more to a "correctional facility" than this - they should address people's individual problems far more. You meet with the psychologist for all over 2 minutes to determine that no, you aren't going to kill yourself. But the inmates here should receive more than that. I believe the one thing women have in common here is that they've all, we've all, been through some sort of hard times at one time or another. For the drug addicts, their struggle probably being the root of their habits. Someone needs to dig to the root and help individuals gain hope for a different kind of future, a better SELF.

Personally, I could have approached my situation in two different ways. I could have never gotten past mourning and asking, "Why me?" and have gone in a completely horrible direction of hopelessness and depression. Or, like I am and have been trying so hard to do, realize and appreciate what have and what I've learned from everything and knowing I'm still here for a reason and working towards a better me. I'm grateful to have the strength and capability to feel this way because of the love and support I've been shown by my family and friends. Not everyone is so lucky, but there's always hope. It's the easy thing to do to give up hope. If only there was a way for others to realize this. I have my own things to worry about these days though. It's just a passing thought for now. I'm sure there's more I have yet to learn.