3 weeks: Be my Valentine?

"Roses are red,
Jail cells are blue,
Happy Valentine's Day,
from an inmate that loves you!"

Yes, I sent a few ghetto V-day cards out this year for lack of anything else to do. This is one of the few years I actually feel happier not to have a significant other to spend this made up holiday with. It's hard enough to have friends and family that I miss nearly every day. If I currently had a husband/boyfriend or something, or children, it would be that much harder especially around the different holidays. I know everything in life happens for a reason and I see now why I wasn't ready yet to have started a family or succeed in past relationships. I wouldn't want to put any one else through more heartache or worries than I already do through all of this.

There's one thing that eats me up inside though: my mother. She worries too much and for the most part, unnecessarily. She worries that I will be influenced by criminals and walk out of here as some form of a drug addict or thief or something. It hurts my feelings that she has no faith in me, but it's not something that I'm not used to coming from her. As much as I reassure her that I am simply being as strong as I can, reading/writing/making the most of my time here, eager to get out and determined to get my life on track in a timely manner. She does not believe me. I've learned to understand its just how she is, but if she doesn't stop the nonsense, her health will be affected. I don't even know what other options I have but to keep doing what I have to do while trying to remain patient with her criticisms and doubts of me. Mothers, you could be 50 years olf and they'll still treat you like you are 12. Mine happens to be one of the most difficult ones due to her old-fashioned thinking and past experiences.

Anyhow, I'm not sure what the purpose of bringing that up was. Back to the juicy jail gossip that I quietly hear each day and stay out of. There's a lady here that embezzled millions of dollars and was sentenced to 7 years through plea. She lied to everyone and said she received 18 months, but the truth came out. Why do people lie for no reason - who really cares? I know I don't. There's a murdered that watches vampire shows of people killing each other all day. How does she live with herself and beat to watch anything that reminds her of what she did? Makes me think she has no remorse whatsoever. This one lesbian has a gf here and 3 ex's that she secretly makes out with in the bathroom. She says she can't help it if the ladies sweat her. Someone braided my hair into cornrows today for the first time. I'm gangster. No more for this entry, I'm babbling about nothing. Happy Valentine's Day my loves.