Why is it that happiness and sadness go hand in hand? A rainbow only appears after the rain. All mountains will have valleys. Going through hardships make people grow closer. Night and day, life and death. Well, you get the point...
Going through the accident and post-trauma was the hardest time of my life. And I've had many previous rough times in my life but nothing in comparison. But afterwards, it also made me appreciate so much like never before. The simple yet best things that exist in this world or any other. And those are the things that kept me going. Prison is also a hardship I must endure. I know I'll get through because its not nearly as painful as what I've experienced losing my friend in the accident, but it is still nowhere near easy in here. Physical hardships, but worse, missing my family and friends and missing out on their lives. Not being able to be there for them in good times and bad. But through these difficult times, the happiest exist too. I had my first visitors today and I can't describe the state of euphoria I was in for hours afterwards even. I cried tears of happiness the moment my friends came through the door. I am also so happy when I get letters in the mail. Feeling loved is incredible and I've never appreciated it as much as I do now. And I do feel blessed to be able to feel this way, a way so many of us never get to experience when it's all taken for granted. This is what will get me through being in this madhouse of a place. This madhouse that is filled with negativity, loneliness, anger, pettiness, drama and sadness - where it is so incredibly easy to get depressed and feel down in the dumps.
=) So here is a smile for all of my loved ones. Thank you for always being there for me in good times and bad, for sending love my way through letters or visits or thoughts, for being such an important part of my life. Don't be too sad for me because although prison is a saddening palce, you guys bring me the greatest joys and happiness.
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