4 months down, many many more to go. I have but one thought on my mind right now: I miss you so much. There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, that I don't pray for you and your family in addition to anything else, asking God to be taking good care of you, as I know He is. But I still can't help but miss you. A LOT.
And the worst part of it is, I don't think anyone truly is able to comprehend just how I feel deep in my heart. I know a lot of us all miss you deeply, but to have been there in some of your last waking hours, to have been driving the car and wishing to be able to alter one little moment in time to make things different, to have you here. I acknowledge that I can't think this way and that fate laughs at probabilities, but I just miss you terribly and I always will.
There will always be a huge part of my heart filled with our memories, your laughter and smiles and as I continue my life, I will always be thinking of you in everything I do and strive for.
I find myself eating foods I know you like to eat and taking preference to your favorite color. I see random things that remind me of you and I can't help but feeling that pang inside my heart. I'm grateful for all that I've learned and how I've grown through all of this, and how I've gotten this opportunity to improve relations with my parents because they deserve nothing less, and I'm going to make the most of my life from here on out and truly live for a greater purpose, but still. I'd trade it all in a heartbeat for you to come back if I could. But I can't. Some things are just beyond my control. I just hope you are peaceful and still always smiling out there.
I miss you always.
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