5 months: Put on that poker face and give it your all

I have this continued problem where I wish I could help solve other people's issues for them. I hate seeing friends sad or in pain. Who doesn't? I keep thinking, "If only they could see things this way, if only the could realize..." But everybody goes through their own journeys in life and sometimes all you ca do is be there in the sidelines and encourage them or help them if they fall; you can't play the game for them.

I'm sure my parents have always felt the same way about me, and perhaps its where I get my worry wart side from. But I had to go through my own experiences and learn things in my own way, only recently truly realizing how they were only trying to protect me from having to feel any hardship and pain, however unavoidable.

Being incarcerated, I can't physically be there for those I care about like I have always tried to be in the past. I'm not just a phone call away, any day, or night. I'm lucky and grateful that my sister is managing quite well these days; although I expected nothing less from her.

Yesterday I learned that a close friend of mine is in the hospital after overdosing on a prescription drug that could have killed her. She is ok now, but she could have died. Let me tell you something; I couldn't help but thinking that maybe she wouldn't have ended up there if I had been there for her, to talk to her and calm her. I'm so glad she's okay, but how did she let herself get to that point? But like I said, everyone has to go through their own journeys in life and I trust that the wonderful people that I love so much are strong and capable of getting through anything. Please just remember how much people care about you and how special you are. Please remember there is always a different way of looking at things and things happen for a reason. You can make the best out of any situation or you can dwell on the negatives and let yourself get caught in a downward spiraling path to destruction. Please don't choose the latter.

I've been reading a lot of great books recently, some of which are inspirational. People who are in so much worse situations than both you and me and yet are so positive and grateful for each day as it comes.

Multiple people asked me to day what's wrong. I guess they could read it in my face (maybe that's why I'm not as good at playing poker as I'd like to be). I just hope that everyone takes care of themselves and appreciates all the good in life as opposed to concentrating on the bad. There are always going to be bad things that happen to everyone throughout the entire course of their lives, but living consumed in it, that is like not living at all. You can choose what to make of your life even though you can't choose all the things that happen to you.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." - Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture