When I found out I would be coming to prison, I took the liberty of watching as many prison movies or even movies with scenes in prison facilities as possible. I pretty much didn't know anyone that's really served any time before and I wanted to prepare myself as much as I could. I knew you can't trust what movies portray, but it was all I had. That, and message forums that I found on the internet, as well as books and newspaper articles.
Today, I had an appointment at the Community Center, where we can watch DVDs on a larger flat screen high definition television (still not even as big as the one I had at home, but better quality than anything I've watched since being locked up, so for us, it's like going to the movie theater). We watched Shawshank's Redemption today. It was interesting to see a prison movie while actually being in prison. Now, I can make real life contrasts and comparisons. And no, it's not like the movies - but there are many, many similarities.
Staring at and scaring the newcomers when they first come in. People who have "hook-ups" that sell things you aren't supposed to have. Count times and meal times in the crowded mess hall. Inmates becoming institutionalized after being here for so long that they don't even know what to do with themselves once released. But the best relation I found was when the main character, Andy, plays music on the loudspeaker and tells his fellow inmates how they may be able to lock him up, but they can never take an individual's mind. To hear music in your head, to have your own thoughts. You will always remain free in that aspect and if you grasp onto that concept, you'll realize that is what's important.
It's crazy even being able to relate to these prison movies. Sometimes it's still surreal to me. I'm growing, but I'll always be the same person because even if I may be physically locked up, I'd still like to consider my mind and soul to always be as free as a bird.
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